looking for connection in all the wrong places
I was reflecting on a recent outreach event, specifically on what made certain interactions more draining. It was whenever someone approached the booth not to ask about our offerings, but rather to unload their personal grievances.
Take, for instance, the uncle who complained about the event being badly organized - one moment they say need to queue up to get the freebies, the next they say no need to queue. While I empathized with their frustration, I knew that venting to me—someone only tangentially involved—served neither of us well.
This feels like emotional labor - where I have to manage my emotions and maintain a good customer service persona for whoever was talking to me. This persona is a performance, a professional requirement that others misunderstand or exploit because they're looking for connection.
But this isn't a sustainable solution to loneliness - I feel it perpetuates the whole cycle. Service workers can't walk away from unwanted conversations because it may get them into trouble. So they stand there and smile politely waiting for the moment to end.
Sooner or later the person seeking connection will realize the hollowness they feel isn't fulfilled by such interactions. I'm sure they can tell when someone is tuning out of the conversation, yet they persist. I guess the hit of attention, no matter how small, makes them feel heard? Which is sad the more I think about it.
If you really want to connect with someone there needs to be mutual engagement and reciprocity. I’m not sure what the solution is, just that I seem to be more wary of the general public after the event.