5 day water fasting reflection
so i went for a five day water fast in bali. and the water fasting itself wasnt as challenging as i thought it would be. yes sometimes my stomach growls and im fantasizing about all the food i could be eating instead of beng here. as long as i don't pay too much attention to it, the hunger goes away. what was driving me crazy was all the other things that were part of the package:
- colonic and salt water flush - iāll say this upfront if you believe in these methods and it helps you, good for you. i'm decidedly against it for myself. as someone who has a sensitive digestive system i cannot believe i willingly gave myself diarrhea not once but twice! within 5 days. what was i thinking? i know my mantra is that i'm willing to try most things as least once but i need to be more strategic/smarter about the things im willing to try. i signed up for the water fasting not really reading the fine print i saw colon hydrotherapy and i just brushed it off as something else, until it came time for me to go through it and i was confronted with this machine where i would stick a tube up my asshole and let it pump water inside of me to clean my intestine. in that moment, with my butt naked and my legs up on the platform they have for you to rest your legs i felt so incredibly vulnerable and silly. like seriously hilda? you're doing this? thankfully they let me get away halfway through the process because the discomfort grew too big and i rushed to the toilet to purge. in that moment i knew with certain clarity that i would never try that again.
so when the place recommended a alternative, salt water flush, i said sure anything is better than a colonic. boy was i wrong, it was a struggle to chug one litre of salty water while in a sauna - i felt nauseous from the first sip but i decided to push through. i regret going against my instinct cause when i was done with the water and rested, i went to the toilet so many times to poop. it wasn't really poop it was more watery stool. and one time it got so bad that i vomited explosively. when i googled the efficacy of these methods, generally the results i got were mixed. science says there's no need to do these things cause the body is already made to digest and clear away any toxins, that if your body really had years long shit stuck you would need to see the doctor. what i got away from the experience is that part of it is really belief/faith, if you can suspend doubt and are the kind of person to see metaphysical things then sure this is par for the course. for me i just felt like i was forcing my poop out earlier than it was ready, and this kind of pain is really unnecessary.
- the people that sign up for the water fasting and darkness retreat all tend to be more spiritual than me. (like yoga teachers, spirit medium, someone who used to teach in a mystic school) and so it was a struggle finding a connection, and the only time i felt sane was when i texted my friends about my experience. as the days passed, the more crazy i felt. you know when i told the group i had diarrhea and vomited from the salt water flush they said that its good that things are being released / no pain no gain. are you listening to yourself? weāre truly just animals that tell stories and make meaning. cause for me there were certain points of the process where i'm skeptical, and the response i got from the group was overwhelmingly positive about the whole thing. everyone was so thankful to have found the place, to have cleansed themselves. to align their energies. to be in service to god. so i just felt lonely, that no one understood why i was on the fence about the alternative medicine. and it was just easier for me to keep to myself and do my own things.
i dont know theres something weird i feel about a bunch of foreigners finding healing from bali, i can't pinpoint what the discomfort comes from. maybe its the lack of awareness of our own privilege and politics? to be able to travel to bali and say that things are ācheapā when i dont know how much of this tourism is pricing out locals from their own home. from the organiserās side im glad that shes integrating into the local community - she learned the language and she hires locals at the retreat (whether its healers or people who are part of the team). and i sense that her heart is sincere which is why i didn't run away after the first night when i arrived and got cultish vibes. she doesn't force people to do anything they don't want to do and she doesn't make everything about herself which i appreciate. the people the place attractsā¦ hmm we just are on different energy levels and i've made peace with that.
- this is a minor inconvenience which is all the bugs around me. lol im a city girl through n through. i love flatlands and walkable pathways. so when i came here and was surrounded by all the bugs it really freaked me out. i know most of the wildlife here is harmless but do i want them close to me? NO.
okay its not all bad, i am glad that i signed up for the water fast - i got to see the waterfall!! it's beautiful and awe inspiring. i love just standing there and having the water mist on my face. the benefit of the water fasting is that it helped clear my acne so i think there is some truth to it balancing out my hormones. and i got back my period naturally! lets see how long this lasts and if i can stop with the period medication. i enjoyed the massages too, i learned that 3 times back to back everyday is my limit. 4 is really pushing it. and i learned that i actually like the sauna. i think my body is better suited for warmer tropical climates - which makes sense why i always travel to southeast asia.